As many of us observe young children (and even older children), we may believe that disciplining children has largely gone by the wayside. We may believe that parents are not doing their jobs but would prefer to be their child’s friend rather than being their parent, guide, mentor, and director. So, what does the Bible have to say about disciplining our children?
Many have heard the saying, “spare the rod and spoil the child.” That does not come directly from the Bible, but an English writer named Samuel Butler in the 17th century. Others may point to Proverbs 23:13-14 in which depending on the translation you read may state, “beat them with a rod.” This not a perfect translation. The Hebrew word can be translated as smite, strike, or punish, and is often used in reference to shepherds guiding their sheep.
Some may believe that sounds harsh. However, we must understand the culture of the time and what exactly the shepherds were doing. No, they were not randomly beating their sheep with a rod. What they were doing was using the rod to bar them from going over a cliff or steep embankment. They would at times tap them on one side of the neck to guide them away from danger. We must remember that sheep will follow the good shepherd. A good shepherd does not beat his sheep.
The discipline the Bible speaks of is good discipline. Sure, it may require what we call “tough love” today in a specific instance. Yet, that is not what the Bible is primarily referring to. Disciplining our children starts at a very young age, if we are going to do it well. That young age is typically about the age they start to crawl. Teaching them what is allowed and what is not. It may be done with a stern voice (not yelling), moving their hands off the object they are not allowed to play with, and as a last resort, a small flick of their hands. As they get older, additional measures may be required. However, at no time does the Bible condone the beating of children.
Notice that King Solomon states in today’s proverb to discipline them while there is hope. Those of us who have adult children can attest to the fact that by the time they become teenagers, they suddenly decide Mom and Dad no longer know anything and will not listen. This is why it is so important to begin the disciplining process early on. The most formative years are between ages 2 and 10. Teach them the difference between right and wrong in those years.
Why is this so important? Studies have shown that people with a good foundation, especially one founded on Christian faith, are more successful in life. No, that does not mean they become rich. It does mean their life is full of meaning, they have a good work ethic, their relationships are healthier, and they have a drive to do well. Therefore, we all should desire to set aside being friends with our children and instead strive to raise them to be successful.
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children while there is hope;
do not set your heart on their destruction.
